Call me crazy but this is as close ill ever get to religion | tallred's Blog

So after a couple of days feeling down I have decided to see if I have depression. This isn't the first time it's happened lots and lots of times before but not for very long periods of time. So today I asked ep a question about depression and got lots of helpful answers. In one I got a link to this site where u do a survey. The results just said if u feel like this for more than 2 weeks at a time, seek help. So I think I'm ok.. My mother has depression so maybe I inherited a little big of it but not the full extent. So then I found a link to tips on helping yourself. There was a meditation there with simple easy to follow steps. I thought sure I may as well try it seeing as I'm on the page already. At first I found it difficult to do as meditation is not really at the top of my list of favourite things to do.. But after a while it got easier and when I followed the instructions carefully I started feeling and thinking the way they said I would. At the end of it they said to connect with ur higher universe or something and I started to think this is not going to happen but hey at least I sorted out some of my feelings for other things. Then as I was still doing the whole concentrate on your breathing, think of happy things, think of sad things, don't think of anything, I could picture myself in a big hall and there in the middle of it was a big ball of light and every time u breath in some of the rays near me were sucked into me as if I was magnetic and they were tiny iron fillings. It was actually quite spectacular. I guess it must be something like that that someone imagined when halos were invented. I'm not religious or anything but it all had to start somewhere right? The real question now is will this ball of light thing help me when I feel down or alone? I don't see how? Another thought that came to me tonight was my dad said it a while ago: alcohol is a depressant and as far as I can remember I've had alcohol every day this week from Christmas Eve to New Year's Eve and that probably isn't helping my situation although it doesn't explain all the other days.. I guess I'll figure it all out in time to come.
Talk to u soon x